But don't take my highly authoritative word for it -- join me as Screen Capture Theatre wanders into the 1962 film ...
|Any resemblance between the characters in this movie|
and actual women is purely coincidental.
|Greetings, ladies and gentlemen of science! My name is Professor Doctor Mr.|
Chapman, M.D., and I am a world-famous sexual researcher in the manner
of such luminaries as Alfred Kinsey, Masters and Johnson and Lindsay Lohan.
|Heh heh, they said "probe."|
|"Dear Professor Doctor Mr. Chapman. My name is Jane, and I am a healthy,|
perfectly normal young woman who is repelled by any physical contact
whatsoever, especially with men of the opposite sex, yuck."
|"Some have called me frigid, and when I opened my mouth to|
answer them a light came on. Can you help?"
|Dear Jane: I have the perfect remedy. You need to indulge in some|
promiscuous smoking with one of my researchers, stat!
|"Dear Whatever Your Name Is: My name is Shelley and my husband|
is more interested in watching TV than in watching me. I want to get racy, he
wants 'Ben Casey'! And the other night, when he was watching 'Leave It to Beaver' ..."
|"... anyway, I am now having an affair. Any suggestions?"|
|Dear Shelley: Perhaps a long trip might bring you and your husband|
closer together. I suggest a cruise on the ocean liner Poseidon. Bon voyage!
|"Hello, handsome. You can call me Claire. Actually, you can call me anything --|
just call me ;). I have no sexual hangups at all ..."
|"... just ask any delivery guy who comes to my house."|
|"Or musician. Or anything with chest hair, for that matter."|
|"Never mind about her, dear sir! Pay attention to me! My name is|
Glynis and I am terribly self-absorbed. My smarmy husband is just
as pretentious as I am, so we get along splendidly ..."
|"... but the other day I met a younger man on the beach when I caught|
his ball, and I'm, um ... curious."
|Dear Glynis: It sounds as if you might need to become involved in a|
cause bigger than yourself. May I suggest women's suffrage?