"Freaks," or Short Circus

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MGM INTEROFFICE MEMO

January 3, 1932

From: Irving Thalberg, Head of Production

To: Louis B. Mayer

L.B.:

First off, thanks again for the invitation to your Herbert Hoover fundraiser tonight. As appealing as the prospect sounds of seeing the magnetic Mr. Hoover in person, I'm afraid that Norma and I have our regular bridge game with Marie Dressler and Ben Turpin and so we must reluctantly pass.   

Now down to cases -- I understand that you have seen a rough cut of "Freaks" and that you have some concerns. As I have already told you, this is a very unusual film, which, granted, makes it a risky proposition for MGM. On the other hand, overall box office business is good -- so good that the grapevine reports you are getting ready to buy Mexico, which is something I'm sure Mr. Hoover can help you with. Given that, I think we can find room to release a movie that takes an artistic risk.

Now, to address your points one by one:

1. I understand that you had an encounter with John Barrymore yesterday where he described "Freaks" to you as "a delightful circus movie" just before throwing up on your shoes. I think you should take anything John says with a grain of salt, not to mention grain alcohol. If you believed John's joking description, that may account for your reaction to the movie. You bemoan the lack of animals, clowns and laughing children, but those are beside the point of the plot -- although, to make you happier, we will add a scene of Wallace Ford in a clown outfit getting hit on the head with a prop hammer by Leila Hyams.

2. You write that you hate the title of the picture, that "Freaks" is too sensational-sounding. We chose that title because that is the derogatory term given to the circus people by the evil trapeze artist. The title is ironic because the movie shows us that these people are much more than freaks. I cannot accept any of your alternative titles -- "Saw Dust," "Bareback Mountin'," "Bearded Lady for a Day," "Carnivale" or "Sideshow Mob."

3. As you point out, there are several scenes where we see armless sideshow performers who are using their feet to hold a glass of beer. Per your suggestion, we will consider switching beer to milk.

4. I am at a loss to understand your desire for musical numbers in this picture. To bring the story to a halt, as you suggest, so that the Siamese twins can sing "Me and My Shadow" or so the human torso can dance to "Clap Yo Hands" would be disastrous.








5. You express concern about the level of "violence" in the film. What mayhem there is flows naturally from the plot, and the idea of giving the sideshow folk "cuter weapons" is unacceptable.









6. Under no circumstances will I even consider your suggestion that we should replace our male lead, Harry Earles, with Jackie Cooper. I don't care how much Cooper made you cry in "The Champ" -- the character of Hans is not a boy, he is a man who happens to be a midget. Therefore I also cannot consider your other plot suggestion -- that in the end, Hans is adopted.


 



7. I do agree with you that a picture of this nature requires a special publicity push, but the idea of a "Miss Freak of 1932" beauty contest at major theatres is out, as is the "Pinhead the Tail on the Donkey" competition. 

In conclusion, I hope that after an interval of time you will come to appreciate this film as a unique, engrossing look at a subculture -- a group of very human people who band together to protect one of their own (Hans) from the bullying trapeze artist and her brutish lover, the strong man. I'm hearing from people all over the lot that this is one of MGM's most remarkable films, with or without Jackie Cooper, and I feel very strongly that it is ready to go as it is. All the mishegas about this picture is going to fell me at an early age, I swear.

I believe that covers all of your concerns. Give my regards to Mr. Hoover.

Awkward Early Talkie Theatre: "The Unholy Three"

Once upon a time, in a pet shop in a very snowy city around 1930, lived three old friends -- a ventriloquist disguised as an old lady (Lon Chaney), a surly midget disguised as a baby (Harry Earles), and a strongman disguised as, um, a big guy in a suit (Ivan Linov).

They called themselves "The Unholy Three" because they had run away from the circus, where they had done bad things to people, including pocketing watches and lifting wallets. They thought the pet shop would be a perfect place to hide, and no one ever got suspicious, even though they kept a giant ape in the back room.

The ventriloquist talked like an old lady, and also supplied the "voices" for the exotic birds she sold. The midget didn't talk much, which is just as well, because he had a heavy accent and everything he said sounded like "Vith ah shirty doo open peasants." The strongman said very little, but was always giving dirty looks to the ape. 


Living with the three disguised people was a woman who didn't need any disguise at all. Her name was Rosie (Lila Lee), and she was also from the circus, and she had also stolen things. She acted like her heart was as cold as the snow on the sidewalk, but it was actually melting thanks to Hector (Elliott Nugent), the only person in the store who was not a thief. (Technically, the ape also was not a thief, but he was not on the payroll.)

Hector: It's wonderful the way your grandma can make those birds talk.

Rosie: Hector, she could make Coolidge talk.


The old lady sold many exotic birds to wealthy customers. When the customers took the birds home and found they wouldn't talk, they called the old lady, who again "talked" for them while she/he was casing the joint for a robbery. Then he/she would return to the shop and the unholy three would have a conference:

Old Lady: Listen up, you mugs -- this is a perfect setup.

Strongman: That ape is looking at me.

Midget: Vith ah shirty doo open peasants.

Soon it is Christmas day -- Rosie and Hector have put up a tree, the old lady is knitting and the midget is in baby clothes, smoking a cigar. The newspapers tell of a robbery and murder the night before -- at the very same house where the old lady had been the day before to see a man about a bird!

The police get suspicious, so the unholy three plus two (Rosie and the ape) take it on the lam. They end up in a mountain cabin, and the ape is angry because he wanted to go to the seaside.


Meanwhile, Hector has been framed for the jewel robbery and murder, and is on trial for his very life!

Will Rosie escape? Will the ape get to tangle with his sworn enemy, the strongman? Will the surly midget learn to speak clearly? (No, yes and yes, not in that order.)

Here are the full cast and credits for "The Unholy Three," which incidentally was Lon Chaney's only talking picture.