Herewith, another installment of Screen Capture Theatre, because why not? This time around, it is the 1955 film "Five Against ..." well, see for yourself:
This is not a sequel to "Six Against the Sea," "Seven Against the Sea," "Nine Against the River" or "Ten Against the Sea." Look at the word "against" for a long time. Doesn't it start to look misspelled? That's some craziness right there.
|The five against the house are a group of college buddies|
who look too old for college, including good-looking Guy...
|Uncle Bill from "Family Affair"...|
|... the only actor in the world named Kerwin...|
|... and county agent Hank Kimball from "Green Acres."|
|They have lots of fun together, going to casinos and such in between|
classes at good old Midwestern University, which is in Reno,
which is not in the Midwest.
|"Did I ever tell you I live with my orphaned nephew and nieces,|
Buffy, Jody and Cissy?"
|"Did I ever tell you I once saw Eddie Albert in his underwear?"|
|Anyway, those are four of the five. And the house they are against|
is Harold's Club in Reno, which is a casino which is filled with money.
|Oh, and this is important to know -- Uncle Bill goes crazy whenever|
anyone tells him he has hair like Donald Trump.
|The fifth member of the group is Kim Novak, who is|
good-looking Guy's girlfriend.
|"Miss Novak, you're trying to seduce me!"|
|Kerwin is the mastermind of the heist, which involves|
the incredibly complicated scheme of putting
a tape recorder into a cart.
|The plan goes into action with a 1949 Ford, a psychotic war vet and what's left of Lucy and Desi's house from "The Long, Long Trailer." What could go wrong?|
|"... and then there was the time I was in Venezuela and my|
manservant, Mr. French, had to take care of the kids ..."
|On the day of the robbery, the guys dress like cowboys.|
Their quarry is a heavyset guy wearing his wife's western shirt.
|Alas, the plan fails when Kerwin forgets to put batteries in the|
tape recorder. And somebody gives Uncle Bill a MAGA hat, so he
gets mad and runs into an elevated parking garage.
|"Uncle Bill! It's me, good-looking Guy! You're not standing behind me|
with a loaded gun or anything, are you?"
|Uncle Bill finally breaks down and agrees to consider medical care.|
And he reveals his darkest secret:
"Did I ever tell you I once saw Eddie Albert in his underwear?"