Screen Capture Theatre: "Back From Eternity," or Ekberg Ahead

Despite popular demand, it's time for another edition of Screen Capture Theatre with the 1956 film:

I can't think of anything funny here.

Our hero is Robert Ryan, as a brilliant but renegade
pilot who refuses to wear his earphones correctly.
(Sorry for the borrowed joke.)

On board his flight is the Maytag repairman ...

 

... future Bat Masterson and his fiancee ...

... George Bailey's mother ...

... and Lassie's master, Timmy.

Also aboard is Anita Ekberg as a party girl. She is
upset because the airline charged her extra fare
for her eyebrows.

And finally, there is a condemned man onboard. He is
being put to death for impersonating Marlon Brando.

"Make him an offer he cannot refuse." 

The flight is delightful ...

... even though one of the flight attendants walks off the job.

The plane makes a forced landing in an extremely isolated
place where no man dares to enter -- Cher's back yard.

 

"The horror. The horror."

"Please, God, let Anita Ekberg be my stepmother."

Everyone begins to bond. Ryan offers to let one of
Ekberg's eyebrows fly free.

And Bat Masterson's fiancee likes the co-pilot's
landing gear.

This leads to an argument about whose boyfriend is cuter.

But wait! There is a dark hand pushing aside artificial leaves,
which is the universal symbol of the headhunter.

"I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody
instead of a bum, which is what I am."

The passengers work together to try and throw the plane
into the air. There is only one working engine, so some
passengers will have to stay behind to keep the weight down.

"Sorry, kid, but it's either you or me."

No, just kidding. The group takes a vote on who will
be left behind, and the decision is unanimous.

Podcast: The Jack Benny-Johnny Carson Connection

In 1949, Jack Benny took advantage of new capital gains laws and moved his popular program from NBC to CBS, an immense boost to that network in ratings and prestige. At about the same time, a senior at the University of Nebraska named Johnny Carson was putting together his thesis, “How to Write Comedy for Radio,” a tape-recorded presentation filled with examples of Jack Benny’s work. Carson couldn’t have known it at the time, but within a few years Benny would become one of Carson’s biggest boosters – they formed a kind of mutual admiration society that would last until Benny’s death in 1974. Benny had been one of America’s dominant comedy voices during the 1930s, ’40s and ’50s – and by utilizing tricks he’d learned from Benny, Carson, as host of “The Tonight Show” for thirty years, would become one of America’s dominant comedy voices during the 1960s, ’70s and ’80s.

Sources:

Johnny Carson, by Henry Bushkin

King of the Night: The Life of Johnny Carson, by Laurence Leamer

“Red Skelton Butts Scenery, Sprains Neck,” Rome (GA) News-Tribune, August 18, 1954

“Comics’ Comics,” TV Guide, January 15, 1955

“Johnny Carson: Young Man with a Grin,” TV Guide, September 3, 1955

“Johnny Carson Defined Late-Night TV,” The Los Angeles Times, January 24, 2005

“How Jack Benny and Harry Conn Stumbled onto the Formula for Situation Comedy,” Humanities, Summer 2017 

Screen Capture Theatre: "Scandal Sheet," or Greed All About It

From out of the blue of the western sky comes ... Screen Capture Theatre! Today's entry: the 1952 film ... 

"Scandal Sheet" takes place in a mythical world
where people read newspapers.

Rush Limbaugh -- I mean Broderick Crawford -- plays
 Mark Chapman, hard-driving newspaper editor.

Chapman has made the New York Express a circulation
juggernaut by emphasizing misleading headlines ...

... sensational stories ...

... and a comics page with "Marmaduke." People just
love that doggone pooch!

The stockholders don't like Chapman's sleazy approach, but they very much like their big dividend checks. Chapman's goal is to reach 750,000 -- readers, not scowls.

The newspaper's star reporters are Donna Reed,
biding her time until a sitcom comes along ...

... and John Derek, biding his time until
he marries someone named Bo.

At a lonely hearts dance sponsored by the paper,
Chapman runs across the wife he abandoned years ago.

They begin discussing old times.

But Chapman's wife's head gets discussed right into
an iron pipe, and she is seriously killed.

At least it makes for a nice story.

Derek and his photographer sidekick, Col. Potter
from "M*A*S*H," set out to solve the case.

You'd sweat, too, if you felt the long arm of justice reaching right up into the bowels of your guilty conscience.

In the end, the reporters get their man ...

... and the circulation of the Express
finally reaches 750,000 because of the story ...

... and the addition of "The Lockhorns" to
the comics page.

Screen Capture Theatre: "Five Against the House," or When My Baby Smiles at Me I Go to Reno

Herewith, another installment of Screen Capture Theatre, because why not? This time around, it is the 1955 film "Five Against ..." well, see for yourself:

This is not a sequel to "Six Against the Sea," "Seven Against the Sea," "Nine Against the River" or "Ten Against the Sea." Look at the word "against" for a long time. Doesn't it start to look misspelled? That's some craziness right there.

The five against the house are a group of college buddies
who look too old for college, including good-looking Guy...

Uncle Bill from "Family Affair"...

 

... the only actor in the world named Kerwin...

  

... and county agent Hank Kimball from "Green Acres."

They have lots of fun together, going to casinos and such in between
classes at good old Midwestern University, which is in Reno,
which is not in the Midwest.

"Did I ever tell you I live with my orphaned nephew and nieces,
Buffy, Jody and Cissy?"

"Did I ever tell you I once saw Eddie Albert in his underwear?"

Anyway, those are four of the five. And the house they are against
is Harold's Club in Reno, which is a casino which is filled with money.

Oh, and this is important to know -- Uncle Bill goes crazy whenever
anyone tells him he has hair like Donald Trump.

The fifth member of the group is Kim Novak, who is
good-looking Guy's girlfriend.

"Miss Novak, you're trying to seduce me!"

Kerwin is the mastermind of the heist, which involves
the incredibly complicated scheme of putting
a tape recorder into a cart.

The plan goes into action with a 1949 Ford, a psychotic war vet and what's left of Lucy and Desi's house from "The Long, Long Trailer." What could go wrong?
  

"... and then there was the time I was in Venezuela and my
manservant, Mr. French, had to take care of the kids ..."

 

On the day of the robbery, the guys dress like cowboys.
Their quarry is a heavyset guy wearing his wife's western shirt.

Alas, the plan fails when Kerwin forgets to put batteries in the
tape recorder. And somebody gives Uncle Bill a MAGA hat, so he
gets mad and runs into an elevated parking garage.

"Uncle Bill! It's me, good-looking Guy! You're not standing behind me
with a loaded gun or anything, are you?"

Uncle Bill finally breaks down and agrees to consider medical care.
And he reveals his darkest secret:
"Did I ever tell you I once saw Eddie Albert in his underwear?"