This time around, Motion Pictures Told Through Still Pictures with Goofy Captions brings you the 1961 opus "The George Raft Story."
|We open in a nightclub, with 1960s people dancing they|
way they think people danced in the 1920s. In fact, the entire movie
is full of 1960s people acting the way they think 1920s people acted.
|Exhibit A is our star, flipping a coin a la Raft but also smirking in a very 1960s way.|
George is working in a nightclub as a bouncer, but what he really wants to do is...
|...dance like Jerry Lewis.|
|Georgie is a good boy! He worships his mother, who talks with|
an Italian accent even though she's supposed to be a German immigrant.
|He is also loyal to his childhood friend, The Riddler.|
|But he is bit of a hound with the ladies, including|
Nurse Dixie McCall of TV's "Emergency!", who is wearing
an entirely appropriate 1920s hairstyle.
|As this montage cleverly illustrates, Georgie begins working|
for the mob even as he follows his dance destiny.
|Then trouble rears its ugly head. When Georgie criticizes John Malkovich's|
performance in "Con Air," the backlash forces him to go west.
|In Hollywood, George meets Hilary Swank ...|
|... and they form a dance team.|
|The dance team attracts the attention of a famous director -- let's call|
him Schmoward Schmawks -- who casts George in "Scarface."
|Headlines we doubt ever got printed.|
|Now George is a big star, and he has an affair with another|
star -- the fabulous Way Mest, not to be confused with
|Then George is visited by childhood friend Bugsy "Bugsy" Siegel, who|
wants to borrow $100,000 to finish his Las Vegas hotel
and have a life preserver removed from the side of his head.
|When Bugsy is murdered, George goes broke. He moves to Cuba|
to become a casino greeter and he packs his satin dancing shirt.
|Then Castro enters the picture and Georgie's future|
is uncertain. If only Willy Bilder would make a gangster comedy with
Cony Turtis, Lack Jemmon and Marilyn Monroe ...