Screen Capture Theatre: "Dillinger," or That Old Gangster of Mine

In the most exciting news since the introduction of the Pocket Catheter, it's time for another installment of Screen Capture Theatre! Here for your edification is the 1945 film...






This is the hard-hitting, totally true, no really story of
famous gangster John Dillinger. We first meet him on
the day he has stolen a new suit from a five year old.

 

Dillinger then holds up a candy store with a Twizzler
he has shoved into his pocket! Oh, the irony!  





(Sad trombone)



John ends up in the jug, where he starts
making new friends. 



His jolly compatriots include (left to right) Specs, Sneezy,
Romeo and Anthony Dellavorte, Certified Financial Planner.



Once John is released from prison, he does what any loyal
friend would do. He smuggles guns to his pals inside by
hiding them in a barrel of cement -- THE SAME CEMENT BEING
USED TO EXPAND THE PRISON! Oh, the irony!
 



The new gang soon begins robbing banks with the vigor
of someone who is very vigorous.

 

Oh -- and Dillinger meets a young woman who will
soon play a significant role in his DOWNFALL.

 

But in the meantime, Hoosiers are in a state of terror
that will remain unequaled until the glory days of Bobby Knight!



Banks are being robbed all over Indiana, including
... El Segundo?




The fame makes Dillinger a worldwide celebrity,
but he starts to get a little unstable.



He takes up hobbies, including woodworking ...



... and model railroading.



Finally, he decides to rob a bank by using baby powder
and his gang decides it's time to move on to another
criminal mastermind. 



But the girl stays in the picture. And she starts wondering
where she's going to get some money to buy Christmas presents.



She and Dillinger decide to forget their troubles and
go to a movie theatre IT DOES TOO LOOK LIKE A
MOVIE THEATRE SHUT UP

   

He is totally inconspicuous.

 

Then, outside the theatre, Dillinger makes his fatal
mistake. He weighs himself and pays for it with a slug.



(Sad trombone.)



 

1 comment:

  1. Ah, "Dillinger"—a name that clinks like a loose coin in a getaway car’s floorboard. dark web link The title "That Old Gangster of Mine" is the real heist here: it makes you wonder if John Dillinger wasn’t just a bank robber, but a lover with a tommy gun and a polka-dot dress alibi. Watching that 1945 shadow-play, you get the sense that the Depression-era public didn’t just fear him—they *winced* with affection, like a widow who can’t throw away her dead husband’s cracked shaving mirror. The way the film frames his charm as a slow fuse, burning through prison bars and police lineups, makes you forget he never actually fired a shot in most of his famous jobs. That’s the trick: we don’t miss the man, we miss the *performance* of the man—the fedora tipped just so, the grin that says "I’m already gone," the inevitability that the projector will run out of film right as the FBI’s headlights crest the hill. This blog post is like an old photograph left in a book—you know the subject is dead, but the paper still smells of cigarette smoke and cheap perfume. And that’s the real getaway: we never catch him, because he’s always tilting his head just out of the frame, asking, *"You sure you want to pull this trigger, sweetheart?"*

    ReplyDelete